ok, what I did so far will work, if you can get Radiologik to talk to a network iTunes.
basically, on the radiologik computer I have the public folder as part of my account. on the other computer, I mount that as a volume.
I copy my iTunes folder (with music, database) over to that volume.
I open itunes and change the location of music to that.
I close iTunes, and then delete the original itunes folder.
I make an alias of the itunes folder on the radiologik computer.
copy that alias to the Music folder on the iTunes computer.
reopen itunes on the remote computer.
that should be it. the writing of the xml needs to be done in the alias folder so it's written over to the mounted volume. itunes knows the location of the music is on the remote volume. it generates xml.
now on the radiologik computer, we open up a shell and
$ cd /Volumes
$ ln -s /Users/whateveruser/Public
$ mv Public whateveruser
so now the path in the xml file will work on the Radiologik computer.
um, clear as mud?
oh, and I probably changed permission for the Public folder to be read/write for guest, just cuz I'm not concerned about security on the local network. I log in to the volume as guest, but I suppose you could properly password that.
I've forgotten at the moment how to make that auto mount. another day.